Author and Coach Kai A. Pineda Speaks on Bouncing Back after Setbacks
“Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting” — Napoleon Hill
An animal study in 1965 discovered that when animals are exposed to troublesome and difficulties that they can’t control, they simply stop trying to escape. Instead, they accept their fate and become yielding. As humans, we possess the same trait. When we are exposed to devastating defeats, unpleasant situations that can’t be changed, or a terrifying event that we can’t control our exposure to, then we begin to lose hope, making it harder to find the silver lining or lesson in disguise. Many times, this issue leads to feelings of hopelessness. Since the start of 2020, COVID reared its ugly head and left many people in a rut and wondering what’s next. Although difficult and possibly unpleasant, bouncing back from COVID is far from impossible for many. With that being said, 2020 also brought along strong racial tensions, unexplainable natural disasters, political mockeries, and an array of mental problems that will turn therapists into billionaires while depleting the rest of the world of our savings accounts.
It’s quite normal for each year to be known by a set of symbolic moments, yet these past six months have been filled with so many globally-effected, mindset-shifting developments that it’s quite hard to believe that we aren’t in some Black Mirror simulation that’s running every world-ending scenario at once. Unfortunately, this isn’t the time to be exhausted. While the pandemic appears to be here to stay, waves of social change spreading across the globe, and a presidential campaign going on, there’s still quite a bit of history left to be made in 2020. For these reasons, I sat down with Author and Faith-based coach Kai A. Pineda to discuss ways to begin the bounce-back process for those of us feeling stuck in a rut from all that this year has brought forward.
Dove: How would you define a setback? Kai: In order to define a setback, we must first understand its meaning. A setback is: a reversal or check in progress. Things that cause us to reverse direction as people are disappointments, complications, or problems one is facing.
Dove: Sometimes, the best thing we can do is stand still and wait for God’s instructions. What advice do you have for people who may be getting restless? Kai: Restlessness is real! Often we are wanting God to move in our time and we forget His timing is perfect. Waiting is hard and to pretend it isn’t is saying God is not aware of humanity. Waiting builds within each of us to grow in patience, grace, and love.
Dove: Do you think it’s ever appropriate to throw in the towel and how do we know when that is? Kai: I think all of us will have moments we want to quit. When things get difficult and we feel nothing is going our way, we can lose hope. However, quitting isn’t a quick fix. We must lean into God and allow Him to take the lead.
Dove: How do we overcome setbacks and obstacles that we believe were self-caused? Kai: We must acknowledge and hold ourselves accountable when we make mistakes. Trying to deflect or place blame on others when we know we made the decisions that caused us to reverse direction is wrong and only keeps us bound.
Dove: How does someone know if it’s time to work with a coach or mentor? Kai: I think we all should find a mentor/coach who has overcome places in our lives we desire to overcome. At the same time, a real mentor or coach walks with you and never places themselves in a position of being better than you. They are happy to help lead you in any direction that you want to go.
Dove: How does someone choose the right coach or mentor to work with? Kai: I think more than the coach themselves it is the type of coach. Many coaching programs are self-lead where the mentee is watching videos and has minimal contact with the coach. Then there is a more hands-on approach where you have direct contact and are being taught and walked with my coach.
Dove: Right now, there are people still having a hard time dealing with everything going on, yet we seem to be surrounded by people pushing entrepreneurship or other avenues. What advice do you have for people whose biggest accomplishment is getting out of bed in the morning? Kai: Do what you can, and then ask God to halo you with the rest. It’s a hard season we are all facing. I believe we all have to pivot and do three things: re-evaluate our current situation, remove anything that is hindering us, and finally reset. I believe these steps can help someone begin to find a path that works for them.
Kai A. Pineda has been in the ministry for 20 years and is a pastor, teacher, author, and worship leader. Her desire is to see God’s heart revealed to humanity in a way that people step into the freedom of God, and not the traditions of the church. She longs for an encounter to happen in the Body of Christ where we exchange our agendas for His, pursue His love, and Prepare The Way for His return. She has committed her life to be an ambassador for Christ and to help in leading this and the next generation into a beautiful relationship with Jesus Christ. Her debut book, Dear Church — Vol l, released on October 3rd, 2019, is a letter to the Body of Christ about unity and our need for one another. Kai has been married to her husband Pastor Alexander Pineda for 11 years, and together plant home fellowships within the U.S. and abroad. They founded Kingdom House of Worship in 2013 and currently reside in both Los Angeles, CA, and St. Louis, MO.